As a book reviewer, I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher or author to facilitate this review. I received no other compensation, and all opinions are always 100% my own.
I grew up in American evangelical churches that were run entirely by men. I was taught that the application of certain verses (and the de-centering of other verses) made a clear case that men and women were equal, sure, but that men were supposed to run the church. Women could teach children and provide the behind-the-scenes support that made everything else possible, usually in volunteer positions. Within this, the pastor’s wife occupied a special role. Single men in leadership were frowned upon, but it was acknowledged that in calling a couple to leadership, the church got two for the price of one. In many churches, the pastor’s wife played the piano for worship, led the Sunday School, organized the potlucks, and more, all while keeping a spotless home on a miserly salary and raising cheerful and neatly-combed children who behaved in the church. I knew one thing for sure–I never wanted to marry a pastor. (Spoiler: and I didn’t!)
My experience was common, and still is in a lot of circles. But it wasn’t always like this. Beth Allison Barr, a historian at Baylor University (you may know her from her previous best-seller, The Making of Biblical Womanhood, highly recommended) was for 25 years herself a pastor’s wife. As she looked into the history of men’s and women’s roles in the church, she came to surprising conclusions. First of all, evidence shows that the early church did not segregate roles on gender lines as is often assumed. Secondly, neither did the early medieval church. Moreover, the specific role of pastor’s wife (found nowhere in Scripture) is a fairly recent development. How and why?
Barr examines modern history, noting that as the role of pastor’s wife was elevated, it was accompanied by the deep loss of independent ministry opportunities and careers for Christian women. She takes a hard look at some of the other unfortunate results, women not able to seek redress from harm, or male pastors immune from accusations of abuse. Throughout it all, she tells stories that illustrate the points she is making from history.
Becoming the Pastor’s Wife is an excellent book. Barr’s writing style is warm and approachable while still maintaining high academic standards and showing her sources. Her personal experience and the stories she’s telling only strengthen her argument. This is a ground-breaking book. Highly recommended.
