When my son Kyle was an infant, he wasn’t a big fan of riding in the car. To make matters worse, when he was three months old, we drove from Texas to Connecticut when we moved up there. Because we stopped off and visited friends and family along the way, it was a long four or five days in the car.
When he did happen to drift off, I’d warn my 5 1/2 year old daughter Amanda, “Don’t look at him. Don’t move too close to him. Don’t make too much noise.” I actually gave her similar instructions if he was screaming or yelling for no reason other than he didn’t want to be there. He was fed. He wasn’t overly tired. I thought ignoring him might make him realize that he wasn’t hungry, he wasn’t tired, and he should just buck up.
Fast forward a few years. Kyle is a preschooler. He’s still stubborn (yes, even though he was just an infant, I’m convinced that all that carrying on was a sign of his stubborn nature). He’s smart. In fact, by the time he was four and a half, he was reading a fair bit. However, he didn’t really want to. He’d let me read to him, and he’d share the reading of Elephant and Piggie books with me. I didn’t want to be pushy, because as parents know sometimes our “encouragement” about what we think they should wear, play, or do can cause children to dig in their heels in opposition.
I assumed a lot of his disinterest was a maturity thing, so I kept my eyes on book bloggers with kids on Kyle’s reading level for suggestions, and I kept reading to him, and I kept presenting him with books he might like to read knowing — well, hoping — that eventually he would choose to read.
A couple of months ago, when I reprinted my thoughts on Encouraging Tween Readers, I wrote that I thought he had finally crossed over into bona fide booklover. It took a couple of years until the end of 1st grade, for him to truly enjoy reading, and I’m happy to report that in the last year, it’s only increased. If I had given up on him, I have no doubt that the computer and video games that he loves would not be balanced by the hours he spends reading each week.
But do I hoot and holler and give him an “‘Atta boy!” when I find him reading? No way. In fact, when we are in the car or sitting around the house, and he picks up a book, I sort of act the same way I did when he was trying to get my attention. “Don’t look too long. Don’t take a deep breath. Don’t smile. Don’t distract him.”
On our trip to the library last week, he picked up a few more Hank Zipzer books, and while browsing the shelves, grabbed My Life as a Book off the shelf. A year and a half ago when I read the book for the Cybils, I reviewed it along with other middle grade books for reluctant readers. I liked the book, but it wasn’t on his maturity level, and I wondered if he would also be someone who I had to coax to read. He’s in fact read several of the middle grade titles that I have read over the last couple of years as a Cybils judge. I’m sure that this year, he’ll be reading even more of the wonderful titles I come across.
The couple of years after Kyle became literate but before he became a booklover seemed like a long time, but in reality, it was a flash in the pan. He has so many years ahead of him to read, and it’s looking like he’ll actually be taking advantage of those years by making many new friends in the pages.
Oh, and P.S. — his assessment of My Life as a Book fits right into the “kid-appeal” target of the the Cybils. He likes it a lot!
Jennifer Donovan has always been a bookworm. She married a reader, and is beyond pleased and amazed that 13-year-old Amanda and 8-year-old Kyle are growing into lovely young people who happen to love reading as well. She blogs at Snapshot.
Carrie says
😀 Well, I still have him to thank for the official nudge into Elephant and Piggie!
Dawn says
I love your advice to not praise too much… that can definitely backfire! You worked hard to show him how enjoyable reading can be and he came to it in his own time. 🙂
Jennifer says
Thanks, Dawn. I guess for me it’s that NOT reading wasn’t really an option. I knew he could read, so I knew he’d enjoy it eventually. I just had to be patient.