I am one of those people who is sometimes rude to my friends because I’m finishing a book. I think I’m subtle, my eyes drifting to the page at hand, but really I’m not. I take books with me everywhere—in the car, in my purse. This protects me from boredom, from panicking at a full waiting room or my husband wanting to run into the camera store for “just a minute.” In fact, when he and I were dating, we knew we were a match made in heaven. He likes to spend hours photographing. I’d just wander round a bit, find an inviting rock or fallen log, and sit and read until he was ready to leave.
So when the current mantra of “Read more!” started in schools, you’d have thought I’d be right on board. And at first I was. If your kid only does one thing, make sure they read, urge the teachers. You can never read too much, they proclaim. I felt smug at first. Not only did I read nonstop to my kids from birth, from in utero if you count vibes they could pick up through uterine walls, but I modeled reading to them. I read books while nursing. I read the New Yorker while sweeping up those interminable piles of Cheerios. I even planned to read a book while in labour, figuring that would distract me from the pain (I had selected Dorothy Sayers’ Gaudy Night as familiar enough that I could concentrate on it but still enjoyable enough to hold my attention), but sadly I found the pain quite attention-holding enough and also I had very quick labours and didn’t really have time.
My 3 kids all loved stories. Elliot, the oldest, learned to read very quickly. The twins learned much later, but that was because we were living in Mauritania and they were in the French schools, and so learned to read in French before they learned to read in English. Elliot was just old enough that he already knew how to read in English before he started at the French Maternelle. Obviously, it was working. They did fine in school; must be from all that reading.
But one day I looked around at my house and my family. I read so much, devouring book after book, that I was neglecting my family. I was so busy modeling reading, and indulging myself in the process, that I was ignoring my kids and letting the dust and clutter pile high. I had to worry that when they grew up, they would carry a picture on their iPhones (or whatever it is they’ll have then) of a book cover, as that would remind them of me. I knew I had to control the amount I was reading, or it would continue to control me. I didn’t exactly join a 12-step program, but I tried to be conscious of balancing my time, paying attention to my family, and even dusting once in a while.
I still read as much as ever, if not more. Since I started reviewing books for this site, I constantly feel the pressure to finish as many books as possible and write up the reviews. It’s more than made up for by the tremendous access I have to new releases, and I love the thrill of getting a new book in the mail and starting that first chapter. You other bibliophiles out there know what I’m talking about!
But today I was out with an Iraqi friend and her 2 kids, ages 4 and 2. “I don’t know what to do about my boy,” she sighed. “He just isn’t interested in books and reading.” This doesn’t surprise me, as he is an extremely active child who only sits still when he is about to fall asleep from exhaustion. I tell her the basics—have lots of books on hand, read to him, let him see you reading. But, I also tell her, don’t worry about it. “He can still be a great person and an intelligent highly-educated man even if he never learns to love reading,” I tell her. “Maybe he’ll be a scientist, very hands-on, or a civil engineer like his dad.” She smiles at the thought. I can tell she feels relieved.
Reading isn’t over-rated, but like anything, it can be abused. I’m still addicted to it (witness the fact that while I was out with that friend today, I had a book with me), but I’m learning to control it.
What about you? Anyone else have problems with reading too much? Or do you agree with the teachers, that such a thing isn’t possible?
Elizabeth is currently reading 4 books simultaneously. She knows this is normal. Right? Learn more of what else she considers normal at her blog Planet Nomad.
Too much of anything is an excess. Yes, I do this but I have caught myself recently. We need to have family time and even time to do other things.
Oh my goodness, I could have written this post! I too have about five books going at once, and the other day I was so caught up in the ending of a novel that I just let my kids watch an extra hour of TV so I could finish. (Yes, I felt a bit guilty about that!). And my biggest phobia in life (well, besides spiders) is being caught in line somewhere without anything to read. I always have at least one book in my purse.
To be honest, though, I’d rather have my kids see me with my nose constantly in a book than see me constantly on a smartphone. Why? I’m actually not sure — except that perhaps I have a deep reverence for the tradition of reading, just words on a page, no bells and whistles and flashy images as there are online. I want kids to see that it’s just as much fun to lose yourself in words on a page as it is to lose yourself in a videogame. (And yes, there is such an irony here as I am a blogger and a huge reader of blogs.)
Anyhow. Loved your post and I’m glad I’m not the only one.
I am so guilty of this too. Not reading all the time–remembering to put the book/reading device down and pay attention to my husband is sometimes hard!
My daughter is 1, so I don’t get to read much in the days since she’s so active, that I tend to want to start reading as soon as she goes to bed–which is right when my husband wants to hang out with me!
I review books too, and I feel the pressure to finish as quickly as I can, but I’ve learned to start reading more in the snippets of time I have in the day so that several evenings a week my husband and I can watch a movie or just hang out together.
I can totally relate, as I go thru withdrawal if I don’t have something to read! Can a person read too much? Absolutely! But as far as addictions go, it’s pretty harmless. I keep reminding my husband that I could be addicted to clothes or cigarettes or something else much more expensive!
Yes, I understand everything you’re saying here, Elizabeth! And now that I’ve returned to work, I’m severely missing my free moments during the day when I could stick my nose into my book!
I absolutely loved this post. I laughed because I am a teacher and an addict. My blog, The Musings of a Book Addict, really says it all. Last year as we got ready for Christmas Break one of my students asked me if they had a program similar to AA for book addicts like me.
I love reading to and try and find as much time to read as I can. Because I read a lot of nonfiction, I find that is usually much easier to put down. Now when I am reading good fiction, watch out. 🙂
Enjoyed your post!
You sure struck a nerve, Beth! I can totally relate and I’ll share with you some of the strategies I use to make my addiction a little less severe.
I too have multiple books going at once. One of them is an audiobook. While listening to this I walk on the treadmill, do dishes, fold laundry and so forth. I TRY (operative word here) to use reading as a reward for task I don’t want to do–“I get to read one chapter AFTER I clean out the closet.” I admit–this takes more than a small amount of will power. My last strategy takes no less will power–I try not to get caught up in a book during time I spend with special people (unless they’re reading, playing video games, etc.).
Yes, I relate!! And not only do I realize it wouldn’t hurt me to read less, I see the same in my children. Put the book down! Go outside! Do your chores!