Being a parent is often described as the toughest job you’ll ever love. I vividly remember discovering the first half of that statement to be true about two weeks after my new position was official, when our newborn’s two-month-long stretch with colic kicked in. I’m pretty confident that all parents have compelling stories to tell about their own experiences, and this is most definitely the case for Laura Shumaker. In A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism, Ms. Shumaker weaves together a story of her life as a mom to Matthew, her firstborn son who was diagnosed with Autism (or more specifically, an Autism Spectrum Disorder) almost twenty years ago.
We are introduced to Matthew as a newborn, and Ms. Shumaker recalls her new-parent anxieties, hopes and desires, which are as universal as can be. As Matthew becomes a toddler and preschooler, she begins to notice differences in his behavior and affect, but struggles to balance her worries that something may be amiss with her son’s development and her suspicions that she may simply be worrying too much. She relays her family’s experiences in relation to Matthew’s needs, challenges and accomplishments with a searingly honest voice. I found the most vivid aspect of this memoir to be the author’s expression of raw emotion– from the torturous initial diagnosis and treatment processes to the dilemmas with neighbors and community members that resulted from Matthew’s behavior over the years, there have been many tears shed and much parental attention devoted to best meeting the needs of Matthew and his two younger brothers.
As the parent of a child with ADHD, as well as the sister of a person with significant cognitive impairments, the concept of having a family’s experiences often revolving around the specific needs of one individual was a familiar one to me. While she shares her frustrations and exhaustion, the love she feels for her children is immensely palpable throughout the entire book. There’s a sad feeling of isolation that comes through her story, which I wondered is more of an indication of the time in which Matthew was growing up twenty years ago, and hopefully would not be the same experience of a family coming to terms with this diagnosis today. Even so, my gut feeling is that any family who is affected by autism can find solace in A Regular Guy, by connecting with Matthew and his loving family. That being said, I feel that there is value in this book for all readers– lessons in compassion, understanding and acceptance are always necessary.
Laura Shumaker also contributes at 5 Minutes for Special Needs, one of our sister sites, whose motto is simply: Support. Insight. Inspiration.
Dawn finds it difficult to come up with witty signatures following a review of a serious book. Suffice it to say that you can find her over at the blog my thoughts exactly.
When I reviewed Sixtfive Roses, about a woman living with Cystic Fibrosis in the 60’s and 70’s, I too was astounded at how far we’ve come.
We’re fortunate to live when and where we do. I think that we still have a long way to go as far as accepting others, but we’ve come such a long way.
This sounds like a great book, and might give those of us who do not have kids with special needs a better appreciation and perspective of those who do.