Finding Aster: our Ethiopian Adoption Story

Dina McQueen’s account of her adoption of an Ethiopian child, Finding Aster, is in many ways the story of the creation of herself as mother. She recounts her history with relationships, her struggle with endomitriosis, her one pregnancy and her being pressured by the father to have an abortion, and her eventual hysterectomy. Dina, in her early 40s, and her husband Brian begin to look into adoption. They are influenced not only by Dina’s inability to bear biological children, but by the global problems of overpopulation and neglect of existing children. This book argues the point that choosing to grow your family through adoption need not be only a last resort, or a choice made after biological children have been raised.

After much research and soul-searching, they embark onto a journey towards international adoption. They find an agency, and are at first interested in Haiti, but due to that country’s lengthy adoption time, they switch to Ethiopia. Dina recounts in detail all the steps of the journey, the delays both necessary and unnecessary, the lapses in communication that cause mistrust and lots of stress to both her and Brian.

However, they persevere. Dina’s recounting of all the different facets of international adoption make this book a great resource to anyone who is considering walking the same path.

Dina hadn’t traveled much before going to Addis Ababa to pick up their daughter Aster. She was very nervous and had a difficult time dealing with all the lack of communication that led to her being told things would be one way, only to arrive and find things totally different. As someone who has lived overseas in developing countries, I wasn’t surprised that they found out, for example, that they were expected to make their own meals when they’d been told the guesthouse would provide them, or when they found out that their daughter’s birth mother was alive and well. She is very honest about her reactions, and I appreciated that. My favorite parts of the book are when they are in Ethiopia, meeting Aster for the first time.

Finding Aster is a great resource for those who want to learn more about an issue that is dominating headlines more and more. Dina advocates for ethical and moral practices, to ensure protection of our planet’s most vulnerable citizens.

Elizabeth is the only member of her family who has never been to Ethiopia. Learn more at her blog Planet Nomad.