I’m not sure that my review of Karl Taro Greenfeld’s memoir, Boy Alone, will read like many other reviews that have been published in the few months since it was released. I routinely do not read reviews of books before I write my own, but my gut tells me that I may be in the minority of reviewers with my purely emotional reaction to this book. That being said, let me just state that this book has affected me in a way that goes beyond just an average read.
Written in three parts, with very distinctive voices matching his age at the time, Greenfeld recounts growing up as the only sibling of a severely autistic child, Noah. Being just about two years older than Noah, Greenfeld doesn’t recall life before him, and he shares with us his memories and impressions at the time, throughout his and Noah’s early childhood, boyhood and adult life. Without mincing words, Greenfeld is undeniably honest throughout the book, which can be quite jarring and gut-wrenching for a reader to ingest, and I believe that he has gotten some flak from well-intentioned readers who find his honesty difficult to process.
With two dedicated parents who find themselves learning about autism right along with the medical experts in the 1960’s, Greenfeld soon realizes that his family’s life revolves around trying to help, and learning to live with Noah. Professionally, Greenfeld’s father writes about Noah for magazine articles and in books, and his journal entries from the time serve to give a firsthand parental perspective alongside Greenfeld’s sibling account. Woven into the memoir aspect of the book is a rich description of the understanding of and treatment options for autism at the time, much of which was shocking for me to read, not having any previous knowledge of the history of autism in this way.
But let me be straight with you, from a sibling’s perspective, I’ve never read an account of this type of childhood experience that was more spot on, and I am humbled by Greenfeld’s bravery in expressing his thoughts and feelings as honestly as he does here. My own sister, two years younger as well, was diagnosed with ‘mental retardation’ as an infant, and much of this memoir was familiar to me, as I grew up with an understanding that her needs simply had to take precedence in our family. The most poignant section of the memoir for me came as Noah got older, as the very real question of his care needed to be tackled– an intensely challenging task with no anywhere-near-perfect solution.
Greenfeld’s thoughts and feelings as expressed here go beyond a basic retelling of a complicated family life, forcing readers to look inside a situation that may be unimaginable to them. I respect Greenfeld for his ability to tell his story in Boy Alone, even when the words were not pleasant, and especially when doing so opens him up to the criticism of others. Far from deserving criticism, Greenfeld is simply telling his story, and it is a compelling, painful and difficult story to be told. It is one that people need to read.
Without an ounce of hesitation, I’ve included this memoir on our list of 5 Star Reads.
When she’s able to put a book down, Dawn picks up her laptop to blog away at my thoughts exactly.
I really appreciate this supportive review of a very important memoir. Telling one’s personal truth always leaves the writer open for criticism and flack. As a mental health counselor, I am familiar with the challenges facing families with children with autism, developmental disabilities, and various other disabilities. Divorce rates are higher among the parents of these kids. I know that life can be difficult for the siblings who may often feel as though they don’t receive as much attention or time from overwhelmed parents. Even if they understand rationally why this is and know their parents are doing the best they can, on an emotional level, they can feel left out and as if their needs are less important.
On a personal level, I have been legally blind since birth and I know this made for a slightly different childhood for my younger sister. I’m sure she had to answer questions from her peers, suspect there were times when being seen with me made her self conscious as an adolescent, and that she faced other awkward situations unique to being “the blind girl’s sister.” Meanwhile, her friends with siblings who had use of all five senses didn’t have to deal with such issues and probably couldn’t understand them. Of course, some of those siblings had no amount of the most valuable 6th sense we often call “common” that really isn’t, but that’s neither here nor there. I at least had some amount of that. I, of course, wished I could have the “normal” life and peer relationships she experienced.
We followed different paths in life. She is married and has given me two wonderful nephews and a niece, and is a very good sister and friend. I, meanwhile, pursued advanced degrees and career interests. From childhood, I was always more focussed on what I wanted to do professionally and she was always more interested in getting married and being a mom and we stayed true to those paths. We’re proud of each other, respect each other, and support each other and truly are friends as well as being siblings.
Carmella Broome, Licensed Professional Counselor
Author: Carmella’s Quest: Taking On College Sight Unseen (Red Letter Press 2009)
http://CarmellasQuest.LiveJournal.com
Columbia SC
Oh Carmella, I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to leave such an amazingly thoughtful and heartfelt comment. Every person’s perspective and experience is unique, and absolutely valuable.
Your life story is beyond compelling, and I thank you for sharing it with us. I wish you all the best life has to offer!
Just finished Boy Alone — I’m feeling really manipulated. I actually cried when Noah told Karl he loved him in the support group. Then to find out his whole adult growth is fiction. That was shattering. In his fictionalized account, Greenfeld answers the languauge first/thoughs second riddle, in a Helen Kellerish way. Words unlock the mind. Then we learn this never happened to Noah. Why does Karl build up fictionalized hope, then smash it down to reality? So disappointing.
I agree with Mary Ann! I just finished the book and the fiction he perpetrates about Noah is somewhat sadistic in nature. I was left very disappointed and sad.