As a book reviewer, I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher or author to facilitate this review. I received no other compensation, and all opinions are always 100% my own.
When Tia Levings was a tween, her family moved from Michigan to Florida. There, she grew up attending a mega church as well as their affiliated Christian school, and from them learned a strict interpretation of certain Biblical passages; that wives should submit to their husbands in everything, that men should provide and women should stay home, have lots of babies, and homeschool them. The move meant she didn’t have a lot of friends, and she fell under the sway of a family that followed the teachings of Bill Gothard and his Institute of Basic Life Principles (think the Duggar family).
Surrounded by friends who were eschewing college for “courting” and having their fathers find them a husband, Tia tried to follow suit. The young man she ended up with already had a lot of red flags before their extremely short engagement, but she hid them–she believed it was the wife’s responsibility to present a perfect shiny face to the world. But it only went from bad to worse. After their marriage, they had a baby right away. Tia was happy to stay home with the kids, but her husband soon settled into a classic pattern of abuse–one sanctioned by their church. Next they left the Gothard movement and ended up at a reformed church that was, believe it or not, even more extreme.
I’m trying not to give spoilers, but this book was shocking to me. I come from a relatively conservative Christian background myself, I thought, and of course abusive men exist in all groups, but this was something new to me. At one point they visit an Orthodox Church and are told, “God is love and values women equally,” and I could feel my shoulders relax. Finally some truth! When Tia finally escapes (not a spoiler–read the subtitle!), she has a lot to do to recover. Her anger at lost time, especially with her children, is raw and vulnerable. Her strength is obvious at all times.
I’m not going to lie–this is a hard read. But it’s good. I’m glad I read it, and it contains some very important “insider” information as to some of the extreme beliefs held in these groups, many of which are now represented in our government. Tia is a wordsmith, and the book is well written. Highly recommended, but not for the faint of heart!