Guest contributor Sandy Ralya is the founder of Beautiful Womanhood and the author of The Beautiful Wife: Focused on Christ, Fulfilled in Marriage (look for a giveaway right here this Wednesday 2/22)
When my marriage was in trouble, I walked into church each Sunday morning desperate for help, but not daring to ask for it because everyone else’s marriage seemed so perfect. My life appeared beautiful on the outside, but on the inside it was a mess. Desperate, I turned to God by reading the Bible and prayer when I realized my efforts weren’t enough to grow my marriage, much less handle the emotional abuse my husband doled out on a regular basis.
I also sought guidance from trusted friends, godly mentors and wise Christian counselors. Though my mentors didn’t always have answers for the problems I faced, they offered their love and support which ENCOURAGED me to keep going when the going got tough! In addition, they held me ACCOUNTABLE for all I was learning.
What I learned transformed my life and then GOD DID AN AMAZING WORK IN MY MARRIAGE (My personal marriage testimony is the subject of chapter 8 in my book). Because mentoring is so effective, I still rely on it for all the hills and valleys Tom and I encounter.
My book The Beautiful Wife covers twelve topics relevant to every marriage such as
I wanted to help women discover how to grow inner-confidence and receive guidance for dealing with tough marriage issues with strength and dignity. Since stories are the best part of any teaching, I’ve included many of them from my life and others’.
You won’t find recipe theology—a one size fits all plan to grow your marriage—in The Beautiful Wife because my marriage is different from yours and yours is different from your friends’. That’s where God’s plan to grow successful, fulfilling marriages come into play. The same plan that healed and strengthened my marriage will work for you too! Titus 2:3-5 encourages wives to:
- Turn to God
- Understand Your Role
- Share in a Loving Community of Women
When you discuss your journey as a wife with other women committed to following godly principles, they can help you “tailor” the information to your particular marriage. You’ll have an opportunity to ask those, “but how?” and “what if?” questions that help make the subject matter relevant.
I wrote The Beautiful Wife for EVERY woman who desires to grow her marriage—no matter what its present condition.
Who is the “beautiful wife”?
The beautiful wife is a humble woman who’s learned to turn to God because she realizes her efforts to grow her marriage aren’t enough.
The beautiful wife is teachable and focuses her efforts on personal growth rather than trying to change her husband. She leaves the business of change to God.
The beautiful wife is vulnerable, open, and honest about the struggles she’s facing without belittling her husband.
There’s a saying that goes, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten!”
Are you experiencing growth and fulfillment in your marriage?
If not, do something different! I hope you read The Beautiful Wife, meet with other women to discuss it, if possible, and open yourself up to all God desires to do in and through you.
Expect beautiful results!