Hands of My Father is a memoir of, “A Hearing Boy, His Deaf Parents, and the Language of Love.” Author Myron Uhlberg recounts his memories of life growing up with not one, but two deaf parents. Myron begins his story by recounting how he loved to “hear” his father talk through his hands. He describes the gestures, and the feelings of love that were expressed by his father, Louis. Although Uhlberg does share his resentment of growing up having to take care of his parents in a hearing world, what comes across the strongest throughout the entire telling of his story is the great love and admiration that he had for his parents — his dad especially.
Louis and Sarah Uhlberg were both born around the turn of the century and both became deaf as a result of childhood illnesses. At that time in history people assumed that deaf parents would have deaf children and so it was with some degree of (superstition!) and apprehension that the parents and grandparents of young Myron waited to find out whether or not he would be born deaf. Myron talks about how for the first year of his life his whole family would make a point of coming to his parents apartment banging pots and pans to see whether or not they would get a response out of the young baby boy, making sure he could hear the noise. It was believed that you could unlearn or forget out to hear and they wanted to make sure that he would not also go deaf like his parents had before him. (It is kind of interesting reading about how little was understood of the deaf world and how much was misunderstood in the 1930’s!)
It was quickly discovered that young Myron could, in fact, hear. Eventually it fell to him to hear what was going on in the world around him and share that with his parents. The Ulbergs had one more son, Myron’s younger brother Irwin. Around the age of four, Irwin began having epileptic seizures and because Myron’s parents could not hear what was going on, it fell to Myron to help control Irwin during those seizures and make sure that it did not injure himself in the process. Myron definitely shouldered a lot of responsibility in his growing up years and yes, he comments how it left him feeling like he lost his ability to be a child. He had to grow up quickly and help care for his family in a hearing world. But again, even though he does say that he sometimes resented or was embarrassed by his situation, his love for his parents is so strong that it rather overrides any negative vibes that this book might give out. I did not for a second have the impression that if Myron were given the opportunity to do it all over again or live a different life, he would have chosen anything differently. (Maybe he would have, I don’t know, but that’s not the impression he gives off.) I read his story as if he knew his life was harder or different than most, but that he loved his parents dearly and he clearly knew that his parents loved him.
Hands of My Father is well-told, endearing and an all around interesting read. I highly recommend it as a read that shows great love between a father and his son. It also speaks of responsibility and perseverance which children in today’s society seem to know little to nothing about. A great book and a great reminder that sacrificing for the sake of loved ones really isn’t that much of a sacrifice after all.
Carrie comes by her book obsession honestly, having descended from a long line of bibliophiles. She blogs about books regularly at Reading to Know.
Jennifer (5 Minutes for Books) says
I didn’t know you were reviewing this one, but it’s one I’ve been interested in as well! Sounds good.