Just like a moth to the streetlight, the cover of the book I was reading caught my daughter’s attention, and she was immediately lured in. The overwhelming pinkness, the wand in the little girl’s hand, and the actual glitter shimmering away on the cover instigated a high-pitched squeal of “Awwww! Your book is SOOOOO pretty!”
Oh, the irony.
In case you haven’t heard, Peggy Orenstein’s book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter is the new “it” parenting book, sparking stories and conversations from NPR to my local playground. Orenstein delves into the myriad of factors that have helped to create the current “girlie-girl culture” in which we parents find ourselves raising our daughters. Media and marketing moves that influence what our children are exposed to are explored, and Orenstein not only acts as a journalist who helps to unveil the facts, but also as a mother who is trying to find an comfortable (or least uncomfortable) path to navigate through this culture with her own daughter.
As I read this book- I should say devoured– I found that I couldn’t put my highlighter and pencil down, because my mind was exploding with reactions that needed to be recorded. (As a result, my copy has an entire volume of my own words in the margins. A bonus I figure, for anyone to whom I loan it.) In addition to being thought-provoking, Orenstein’s writing is professional but personal, factual yet comfortable to read. By the end of the book I felt like she was someone I’d love to chat with in the elementary school parking lot at pickup time. Orenstein doesn’t present herself as a having all the answers, but she does a fabulous job posing the questions that are worthy of our own individual considerations.
Of all the specific passages from the book that make incredible “sound bites” worth noting, this one is undoubtedly my favorite:
It would be disingenuous to claim that Disney Princess diapers or Ty Girlz or Hannah Montana or Twilight or the latest Shakira video or a Facebook account is inherently harmful. Each is, however, a cog in the round-the-clock, all-pervasive media machine aimed at our daughters– and at us– from womb to tomb; one that, again and again, presents femininity as performance, sexuality as performance, identity as performance, and each of those traits as available for a price. It tells girls that how you look is more important than how you feel. More than that, it tells them that how you look is how you feel, as well as who you are. Meanwhile, the notion that we parents are sold, that our children are “growing up faster” than previous generations, that they are more mature and sophisticated in their tastes, more savvy in their consumption, and that there is nothing we can (or need) do about it is– what is the technical term again?– oh yes: a load of crap.
Seriously, how can you resist someone who penned that brilliance?
Cinderella Ate My Daughter is a must read book for any parent of a daughter, and is the latest entry on our 5 Star Reads list. Orenstein articulately voices the universal hopes parents have for their little girls, and she presents the wide variety of factors that challenge our girls’ healthy development. Regardless of whether or not you already have a solid pro or con position on the “princessy world” our girls are growing up in, this is a book worth reading.
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Dawn’s own four year old daughter is probably wearing all pink at this very moment, inspiring her very non-girlie-girl mother to shake her head in wonder. Parenting, books and lots of other randomness make up her blog, my thoughts exactly.
I understand why some people aren’t happy with Disney and I think that not everything they put in they’re movies is suitable for children . The Disney Princesses aren’t sluts though and the story of the Little Mermaid was created a long time ago in a different time period . Disney simply made the story their own . Ariel didn’t do what she did just because she wanted to be with a human man . she also did it because she wanted to live like a human because she was tired of being a mermaid and living underwater. Eric loved her because she was interesting and funny and brave as well as pretty not just because she was attractive . Jasmine was brave to she stood up for her self lots of times and it would have been okay if she didn’t end up getting married to somebody . However married or single she’s a smart brave made up person . Disney Princesses aren’t evil just misunderstood . People have the right not to watch them though which is fine and I hope that everything turns out alright in the end.
Thanks for visiting and reading the review, Ingrid. I hear what you’re saying, and my response would simply be to suggest you read the book yourself to see what you think. I don’t think it’s as simple as saying any character is evil, but to look at the larger picture of what messages are being systematically sent to young girls through these films/products/mass marketing.