I’ve heard about Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott before and have heard little radio minutes with them on our local Christian radio station. So when I saw that they had a new book out, L. O. V. E.: Putting Your Love Styles to Work for You, I was curious to see what it was all about.
Jonathan (my husband) and I both ended up reading it. In a lot of ways, it came across similarly to The Five Love Languages in that it is designed to help you discover in what way you best express love. However, Chapman’s Five Love Languages focuses more on discovering in what ways you best receive love (or, at least, that’s the way we read it). The Parrott’s book, L. O. V. E. spends more time focusing on personality types. Now, I do have to say that the Parrott’s have appeared on Oprah. I realize that this is a selling point for some. It is NOT a selling point for me. (Not at all.) In fact, if I see Oprah’s stamp of approval on just about anything, the chances of my picking it up are slim to none. Nothing against the lady. It’s just that she can’t be right about everything all of the time. Nor can she be wrong about everything all of the time. In this case, I think inviting the good doctors on her show was a step in the right direction.
L. O. V. E. wasn’t really anything I hadn’t read in the marriage book department before. However, sometimes it’s just hearing something said a different way that can finally make the communication point that you’ve been trying to make but have failed to do thus far. Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott focus on four personalty traits in a marriage, admitting that there is no one-size-fits-all mentality involved and making the point that you can’t put people in boxes. Personality types can overlap and certainly there are primarily and secondary giftings whereas people’s personalities are concerned. But the four that they focus on here are nicely spelled out in the acronym “L.O.V.E.” – Leader, Optimist, Validator and Evaluator.
They open this book with an introduction to the four traits. They follow this up with a description of positives and negatives of each trait and then conclude the book with some advice for the spouses married to leaders, optimists, validators and evaluators. The book is nice, concise, to the point and easy to understand. The amusing thing for Jonathan and I was to read the part about being a leader and then reading about what to do if you are married to one. Why? Because we’re both leaders. (We knew this going into the marriage, both being the first born types in every sense of that definition.) We got a good chuckle out of the Parrott’s including in their definition of being a leader the song “My Way” by Frank Sinatra. As they say in this book, the leader personality tends to like the song “My Way” but instead of just singing, “I did it my way” they add on the phrase, “And you’ll do it my way too!” That hit a funny and not-so-funny bone close to home. It’s something we work with. Thankfully our secondary personality traits are different and rather complimentary.
Jonathan and I have only been married for 4 3/4 years and we have much to learn. Books like these may be repetitious in some ways. In other ways, they are good reminders and add more tools to the communication process, helping us to understand each other a little better with each passing read and conversation around it. We enjoy reading books like these. Therefore, while we would be quick to say that there’s nothing outstanding or amazing in this book that has never been said before, it IS a useful, helpful and interesting read. Don’t read it alone if you don’t have to. But if you do – make the most of it!
I have no idea what Oprah’s conclusions were on the Parrott’s and, quite frankly, I don’t want to know. We got a lot of talk out of this book and I’m happy to recommend it.
Carrie comes by her book obsession honestly, having descended from a long line of bibliophiles. She blogs about books regularly at Reading to Know and Reading My Library.
adrienne says
Thanks for the review. I just added this to my list.